Jan
2013
Abide in the Silence
{This is part of #thesamepage linkup and review of Grace For the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman. Today I explore chapters 13-15}
With the title of chapter 13 in mind (Respond), it is important to note that we have finally arrived at the doing part of the book, rather than the thinking part.
Your living should be your worship.
Not just where you spend your Sunday mornings, but every day. Meaning that people should be able to watch your daily actions and be able to see evidence of your faith, even if you don’t explicitly share the gospel with them. At least, that is how it is supposed to work. We are still humans and we all still have a penchant to sin.
If you have absorbed one thing from this book is that grace is extravagant. We know the goal, but trust that Jesus will fill in the gaps with his mercy and grace. Our failures say as much about our character as our successes.
There is freedom to being found by God. I know, I have been lost a time or two.
When He finds you, it will be okay. It might not be okay right now, but one day all will be made right. My life story has enough broken bits to understand why we will rejoice then.
From the very beginning of Grace for the Good Girl, I was looking forward to reading chapter 15 “Safe Even When It Hurts.” Even more than reminding myself that grace covers even my well-intentioned efforts, I needed to read that Jesus can be trusted no matter what you face in this life.
If any phrase can be my life motto, it would be exactly that. So many paths, so many chapters of my life have ended in that conclusion. He is safe to be trusted with my heart because he formed it. He knows my needs better than even me. He can be trusted because He keeps his promises.
When the word abiding in my heart is silence, I can trust. When my prayers are saturated with frustration and anger, he remains the same. When I forget about His goodness because all I can focus on is the depth of hurt inside my sensitive little heart, He beckons me to come and rest at his feet.
Falling to the ground is for the weak. Falling to the ground is for those who can’t handle things. Falling to the ground is not an option. It is the good girl’s ultimate fear, and I avoid it at all costs.
That is until I have no other choice (176).
Oh, Emily, can I tell you how beautiful that bit is? Can I tell you how perfectly those words explain the tension in my soul?
My bedroom is my oasis. When I need time to be alone with my feelings and my God, I can crawl into my super comfortable bed and wait. When my mind is full and my soul sorrowful, I don’t sleep. This has happened enough times that I can recognize a pattern. No one bothers me, especially if I am quiet and it is late. I trust God with my secrets, even when I struggle to trust how He will work out the details.
I do not literally fall. Nor do I slide out of the blankets to kneel beside my bed. I am helpless and vulnerable. All the tears I am afraid to share with the world somehow sneak out of my eyes. I don’t know if my choice is the right one. My plans might cause me to fall, metaphorically or physically. He meets me where I am, in the middle of the mess.
I whisper how He is good until the words sink in. Even in the silence, I can abide in His open arms.
Oh how safe God truly is.
I am sure of nothing else. I rest in this truth until I can rest my eyes.
I awake to a new day full of new mercy.
